What Was I Thinking?

How is it that despite everything I have not done as well as I could have, students still manage to turn out alright in the end? I suppose this is what parents think about their children from time to time. I cannot speak from personal experience about that, but I do know that as an educator, I discover that there have been things that I have been doing for years in the classroom which have not been the best practices of a master teacher; and I realize my shortcomings and areas where I could certainly stand to improve and grow and think, "Lord, how is it that I have managed to survive this long as an educator when there have been so many things I just did not know?" I figure that by the time I retire, I will know almost everything I need to know to be a great teacher, but by then I will no longer be teaching. I wonder if my parents ever thought that about themselves? Have they ever thought, "Now that I have finally figured out how to be an effective parent, my last child ...

It is a little after three o'clock in the afternoon and I am covering the front desk while Mr. McFarland and Mrs. Lynch deal with other details of school and personal life and Mrs. Lange cooks up a spaghetti dinner. I am glad for the opportunity to sit for a while and rest, because I am TIRED!   The first day of school, no matter how long it is - half-day or full-day - is exhausting. As tired as I was last night when I slid between the sheets of my bed, it was difficult to fall asleep. I rolled over. And over. And over again, as thoughts of various students, families, and details of the first day floated up to the surface of my consciousness despite my best efforts to push them down into the murky depths of my mind so that I could sleep. Somewhere in the night, I dozed off. I had an incredibly vivid dream of being in a classroom witnessing a lesson, something very amazing was going on and I was looking forward with great anticipation to what the teacher was about to do - And then t...