We Are the Sparrows

I am amazed that God can speak to me even when my mind is preoccupied with other thoughts. Tonight in church my mind was triggered onto tangents by so many of the things being said in the message that I found myself wondering, "What did he just say? What did I just miss? What is this message about?" I was getting down on myself for my wandering mind, when the Spirit touched my heart for seemingly no reason at all but to bless me, and the simple thought of the message penetrated me: Delight in Me. It was as if two strong arms had embraced me in a back hug to help me settle and focus on those three words, because I felt loved and held, and all the self-condemning thoughts disappeared in that moment to be replaced by grace and peace.

I have begun to think about wrapping up my life here in Baltimore over the next few months. Yes, there are quite a few days of school remaining and much to accomplish in the time remaining, but somehow I have to manage to sell my house and move out, do something with my car and my stuff, get a visa to visit China, get some life insurance and some other insurance that the missions department requires, set up a missions account for people who God leads to support me, and a bunch of other financial details. Delighting in God is letting me let go of many things and look forward to letting go of even more. I'm thinking that by July I will have some clothes, a few electronic gadgets, and little else in my suitcase when I leave for Korea, and it will be delightful.

My Bible tells me that if I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. I think that those desires are the true, deep desires of every human heart, the things we long for that only a personal relationship with God can fulfill. They are spiritual desires, not the desires of the flesh. We are told to seek first the kingdom of God and then all these things will be added unto us; God will supply all of our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.

God has taken care of me all my life when I have followed in His footsteps. I don't have a lot by American standards, but I have what I need and more. Everything I have I have by His good grace and I don't think that giving it up is going to be difficult. I think it will be delightful.

I don't know if this will make much sense to the students at GGCA. I remember growing up and wanting to have the money to get what I wanted and not having to ask my parents to buy it for me (and hearing them say that I didn't really need it). Don't get me wrong - it's nice to have things and it's great having a job you like, as I do, that pays you enough to put bread on the table, gas in the tank, a roof over your head, and clothes on your back. But as I sit here and look at the things in my house, I am thankful for it all, but I'm not attached to it. I may miss it at some point while I am overseas, but as Job says, God gives and takes away, and as we see at the end of Job's story, God can give it all back again and more if He wants.

What I would like to say is something I have heard many times as I was growing up in the church - get a good education and make a living, but don't let education and your livelihood and all the "stuff" that comes with that be your ultimate goal. We are not here on this planet to be successful according to the world's standard, because a man can gain the whole world and lose his eternal soul. As children of God, our goal is to glorify Him and allow Him to do His will through us, so we must always be led by the Spirit and submitted to God. Students, delight yourselves in the Lord, wait on Him, let Him lead you, and doors of opportunity will open and you will have all you need in this life.

Just like the song that Mary LaFlamme sings says, we are the sparrows that Jesus talked about. He cares about us. Like the sparrows, He will provide for us and we can sing His praises all day long.

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